Family wounds

Have you ever stepped on a splinter and experienced (in my opinion) the worst pain in your life? Then on removing the sucker, you discover it’s such a tiny piece of nothing that made you limp or cry or something. It’s insane right?.

Family is amazing. I love how a bunch of people with different opinions, values, goals and characters can coexist and live in the same household for 18+ years and love each other to extremes that you know that no matter what at least someone has your back.

It’s also amazing how the small things said and done by this amazing bunch of people with different opinions, values.goals and characters can inflict a lifetime of self doubt, self esteem issues and trigger depression or anxiety.

The irony of it all is that it comes from the people said to have “your best interests at heart”. I call bull poop on that because most days the person withyour best interest is yourself.

Recently I was at a family event and I thought I looked darn good. But a family member mentioned how I must be eating every hour on the hour to be the size I was.
Another relative mistook me for someone with the same name as I and took time to explain to me how she was shocked because I was too big to be the other wangechi.

I can mention a couple of things said to me about my weight,, hair, choice of clothes to a function, method of doing mundane tasks that inflicted small splinters into my mental realm that sting up to this day. I can play victim till tomorrow and beyond and refuse to admit that I have also been charged with the same offence.

There are days I feel like utter nonsense and I come out and attack the same to another so that I am not the only one swimming in the pool of self loathing and pity. Woe unto you if you crossed my path during this time.
Woe unto you when I am being impatient either with myself or others and my impatience triggered words and actions that scar for life.

I realize that somethings we say may come out as a joke to you but to the onebeing told it really does affect them. I’m becoming more self aware of what comes Out of my mouth and into the soul of others.

We have to T. H. I. N . K before we speak. Is what we about to spew into the world true, helpful, inspiring, nurturing and kind? If not then DO NOT SPEAK.

Check your thoughts and words before they become daggers and bullets into your daughter /son;brother/sister ; cousin; nephew ; grandchild’s life.

Your next words to your family member could literally change their lives

So be careful about what you speak into and about your relative

One day they won’t be around and you’ll hope that you did things different.

The World doesn’t work like that.. There are No Take-backsides.

Time does not Stop for you to go back in time and change what you said.

Change the Outcome Now by vowing To Speak value into your relative rather than tear them down.

As always
Till the next one
Peace, love and avocado.

Wangechi

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