The end of an era

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Change isn’t something that happens instantaneously, it is a progressive working on making some difference in your actions. My name is Wangechi and I WAS a social media addict. 🙈🙈🙈

If you asked my friends what I was doing most of the time I was looking at my phone screen they would comment, “she is definitely  on Facebook or snapchat or instagram”.

I was THAT girl, always looking for something, something more to show, to see, to do on my phone. I was on a lot of social media platforms most of them bizarre, some okay, some commended and I’m not saying social media is bad to everyone, it just took me a while to realize that it was BAAAADDDD for me as an individual.

All this came to my attention on December 31st; cliché I know but it did. So here I was plot-less and fidgety. I was to go to Kilifi with my girls but due to some constraints on my side they had to leave me behind. So here I am, in the sitting room ,browsing TV channels and scrolling through Facebook, snapchat and instagram and a friend calls me, telling me how she has decided to scrap all social media from her phone and life because she felt like a lot of fabrication goes into a post or a picture. “There is no vulnerability anywhere these days unless someone wants something like money or help from people to do something specific.” She said.

After that conversation I remember going through my Facebook and instagram and thinking how a lot of the things I had posted were a fake ideology of what was really happening in my life. There was no picture in there showing that I was clinically depressed. There was no picture that truly showed the emotions I was going through or experiencing. No picture was honest; no Facebook post was genuine to depict the journey I went through the year to work through depression. And in that moment I decided I won’t be fake no more, no more likening my life to someone else’s, no more self-loathing because I was not at the same space as someone who at some point in my life I was at par with. It’s dispiriting and infuriating because instead of focusing on dealing with my own life I was busy making my life into someone else’s history; trying to do something they had done before.

So December 31st approximately 10.45pm I scrapped my Facebook and twitter account, I uninstalled instagram ( I couldn’t delete because I felt discomfort literally doing so, plus I might want to revisit some of the pages I was following that were grand right?😂😂) and snapchat.

How was it, you may ask? It was the most challenging thing I have done in my life other than working out. Med school was easier than the process it took me to make the decision to uninstall and live a Facebook-less life😅😱. The mental power going into just removing something that you were once attached to is HAAARRRDDDD. I remember three days into the media detox I began to feel prickly, literally, everywhere. I kept unlocking my phone and realizing that there was nothing for me to do and locking it again; then repeating the same thing barely 30 seconds later. It was hard, and for about four to five days it progressively got worse. Sometimes I would text people just so my hands could do something on my phone. Eventually the longings went down and I was able to relax and not constantly think of what people were posting or doing on Facebook or Instagram. It even got easier to hear my siblings talk of something they saw being shared on Facebook without looking like I would knock their teeth out.

My advice to anyone who feels like they want a break from the relentless exposure to comparison and life of pretense, is to take a break from it all and just live life in the moment. I have only done it for a few weeks but I’m looking less at my screen now and find myself more into enjoying my space, enjoying the sunlight, enjoying the doctors’ strike, enjoying not posting about something because everyone is or updating everyone on what’s happening in my life.February has me taking things a notch higher and I will definitely update you guys about it once I adequately do it; no one wants to hear about failure right?

See you on the next one

Peace, love and avocados

(There is no avocado emoji so enjoy this one of a pear 🍐🍐🍐)

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